Dear family and friends,
I think it is about time I check in with you all before single chemo #11 tomorrow. The main side effect from last Friday's double has been unrelenting nausea every single day this week. And also the increasing metal taste in my mouth so that my favorite foods don't taste as good as they used to. You are going to think this is crazy but I actually can't wait for chemo tomorrow because they fill the I/V with fluids and very large amounts of anti-nausea medicine so that for tomorrow, at least, I will feel a reprieve from the nausea!! Don't worry that I am wasting away because of the nausea...I make myself eat anyway and am maintaining a really good and healthy weight that's only ten pounds less than my pre-cancer weight.
Despite the nausea, I donned a dress and my wig for two important occasions last weekend. On Saturday I attended Ami and Matt's wedding, which filled me with the joy and hope of a young couple in love that you KNOW are right for one another and will have a long and happy marriage. It was beautiful and brought tears to my eyes. Then on Sunday, I loaded up with anti-nausea pills, dressed up again, and made it to church for Easter. And what a sunny, glorious Easter Sunday it was! I also managed to steal generous bites from Renee and Daniel's dark chocolate buttercream Easter eggs from See's. :-)
On the weekdays, I have made sure to get to the gym or outdoors for long walks. Yesterday was a particularly good day. My good friend, Sue, came over and we went out to lunch at the little Thai place near my house. She had the day off so we could talk at leisure without watching our watches to get back to work. It was really great. And then, to make the day even better, Steve got off work early and we went to Richmond Beach for an hour-long walk, having good conversation and collecting lots of pretty beach glass along the way. After, we hit happy hour at Hill's restaurant in Richmond Beach and enjoyed some yummy calimari and pizza.
Daniel and I had hoped to golf today, but alas, it is a rainy Thursday. Our wonderful housecleaner, Ryan, comes today (my family gets tired of my favorite phrase "I love my Ryan!") and thus, Daniel and I will hit the gym and do some errands while he is cleaning. My magnesium and calcium are low so we will pick up some supplements the doctor ordered.
I am hoping my counts will be fine for chemo tomorrow since I took four days of those stomach shots this week to bring up my white cell count. And after tomorrow, only seven chemos left! I am SO ready to be done. I miss work and the normal routine of life. I miss having food taste normal and being able to go up two flights of stairs without my heart pounding as it did last night. But I will try to be patient and to take each day as the gift that it is. If you don't learn to treasure each day from having cancer, then you've learned nothing at all! Thanks to Mike and Colleen for bringing us joy yesterday with another quart of their fresh, homemade yogurt for my daily fruit smoothies. And thanks to all of you who sent cards this week--most of which cracked me up with their jokes and or photos on the front (one was a kitten wearing a knitted hat just like one of mine...as if she were bald from chemo as well).
Speaking of hair, it's mostly all rubbed off in the back and on the sides, but about half and inch of thin hair remains on top. I like to blow dry it straight up. It kind of looks like a 50s male movie star look, which must be very weird for Steve to see when he kisses me. Ah, the unconditional love of a husband who looks beyond bad hair and scars and sees only his beautiful sweetheart. I am truly blessed!
I will close with a verse you may know well, but that Daniel embellished for me with the words you will see in parentheses: "For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, [NOR CANCER! NOR NAUSEA!], neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:28-29
You and I are loved. What could be better than that?!