2/8/13 Chemo Number Three--Done!

Dear Friends and Family,

Gabrielle here.  I am thrilled to report that my blood counts were sufficient to allow me to have chemo #3 today!  It is the final chemo in the first three-week cycle.  Only five more three-week cycles to go, a.k.a. 15 more chemos.  This week was the "easy" chemo with only one drug in my shoulder port.  Next week is the awful one where I get two drugs and last time, I was sick as a dog all weekend.  But back to today...it went really well.  I was sleepy during the 3.5 hours we were there so we watched an old movie, The First Wives Club, and I drifted in and out.  Tired, we came home and I ate a tuna sandwich and some salad with a yummy ginger dressing Daniel made.  It's like the dressing you get at Benihana of Tokyo and the ginger is good for my nausea.  During chemo, they drip a lot of anti-nausea medicine into you so I don't need to take an anti-nausea pill until bedtime tonight.  Then we'll keep that up round the clock for the next three days or so.

After a bit of rest this afternoon, my good friend/neighbor, Laura, came for a visit.   She and I went on the same walk Daniel and I did yesterday--about a mile or so with a big hill.  As always, it feels so good to get outside and walk.  Then Laura came in and we talked a while longer, ate a dark choclate salt caramel, and now I'm resting again before Steve comes home.  We just put leftover lasagne in the oven.

A big prayer request concerns my abdominal port--the one by my right hip that they use every third week when they add the second drug.  It is still swollen and somewhat painful.  They believe it has swelling, weird scar tissue formation around the port, and probably a hematoma in there (blood formation that takes forever to reabsorb in your body).  The infection is gone and antibiotics stop tonight.  But it is still a problem.  They want me to try heat on it this week and next Wed., I go in for another ultrasound of it.  If they see any fluid, they will aspirate it with a needle and culture it.  But their prediction right now is they will NOT be able to access this port safely.  Both drugs will go in my veins.  It would be better for me if the second drug could go directly to the abdomenal cavity where the cancer was, so please pray the problems with this port might go away!  They can't replace it--too much risk of infection from another surgery.  Thank you for prayers!!

Blessings of today, aside from successful chemo #2--when I arrived home there was a beautiful flower basket on my front porch from our good friends, Svein and Erin-Joy, to celebrate the end of the first cycle!  Warmed my heart!  And when we got the mail, there were four more wonderful and encouraging cards!  You know who you are.  I'm not going to name the card senders in the blog because I don't blog everyday and never want to miss one.  But please know how much your cards mean to me.  One contained one of my favorite Scripture verses--Isaiah 41:10.  This is the verse that I clung to when I first got Lupus and I cling to it now:  "Do not fear, for I am with you.  Do not be dissmayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you.  I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."  God has been so near and dear to all four of us Dudleys through this--our biggest life's trial.  He is meeting our needs in a million different ways each week and we see His fingerprints EVERYWHERE. 

I got a call today that my wig is in!  We will pick it up tomorrow.  I hope the color turned out o.k.  I'm most nervous about that as I had to select it from a tiny swatch of hair color sample.  But good news--my hair is still here today!  I washed it EVER so gently this morning and instead of roughly towel drying it, I just sort of patted out the extra moisture.  I blow dried it just enough to not look horrible for chemo.  And so far, it's staying in today!  :-)

Lastly, I am really hoping that I feel great next Thursday, which is Valentine's Day.  Steve and I have a reservation for the romantic Valentine's dinner at Canlis!!!  Statistically, Thursdays, the night before the next chemo, I should feel pretty good.  So I hope to rest enough that I'll have energy to dress up and do make-up and all, and then I'll pop an anti-nausea pill and head out for a wonderful dinner with my sweetheart.  We have requested Daniel's college friend, Kyle, as our waiter.  He's awesome and takes great care of us. 

Valentine's Day is about love.  Jesus tells us to love God and love our neighbor as our self.  There is so much joy and meaning in life when we are doing those two things.  And I have never felt as loved as I do right now.  Thanks to you all for your love, support, kindesses, and prayers.  I love you all back and pray for you too!

Blessings,
Gabrielle

2/7/13 More Thursday Greetings

Dear family and friends,

Gabrielle here.  I thought I would fill in a little detail to Steve's morning post below.  Yesterday was a grand adventure as Daniel and I braved N-gate mall.  First we went to a little shop adjacent to the mall that specializes in things female cancer patients need...like hats and scarves and prosthetic swimsuits for mastectomies.  We had fun having me try on different hats and I bought three of them, along with two little light cotton caps you can sleep in if your head is cold.  Every morning when I wake up I check my pillow.  No hair gone yet!  I'm glad my hair is stubborn!   :-)

But back to the mall.  We bought four new pairs of sweatpants to hang about in that feel good on my incision.  In size medium.  Crazy.  I have been a large since about 4th grade and now I'm a medium.  Not recommending the cancer diet, however.  Anyone wanting to lose a pound or two, just stick with exercise and eating healthy!  Then we went to the Hallmark shop so I could buy some Valentines for my family, grabbed a few See's chocolates for later, and topped it all off with lunch at Red Robin.  I got a free chicken avacado burger and fries since it's my birthday lunch.  I ate half and Daniel ate the rest, and we split some salad too.  That was more than I've eaten in I don't know how long and was a lot of fun.  Don't you love those Red Robin fries, piping hot, sprinkled with their seasoning salt, and dipped in ranch?  Yummo!

In the evening yesterday we were blessed with two meals so we are eating the second tonight.  Renee and Karissa made us the fish dinner (my first fish in a month) and my friend Kristi brought us the most delicious looking chili and cornbread which we are having tonight!  Can't wait!

I slept well last night and woke up refreshed.  I ate a smoothie with fruit and yogurt and spinach (friend Janet inspired me) and some toast topped with tomato and melted cheddar which is something my Grandma used to make for me and I find comforting.  Then stuffed, Daniel and I went on our morning walk--our longest yet!  I think we went 17 blocks!  And the sun was  peeking through clouds and warming our faces for part of the walk.  Glorious!

Thanks to each of you who bring us food, send us cards (so many this week--you know who you are--thank you SO much), email us Scriptures, and pray faithfully for healing.  God has provided all we need as we walk this road and you are all part of His provision for us.  Thanks for coming alongside us with your love, support, and encouragement.  We are truly blessed.

Love,
Gabrielle

2/7/13 Of barnacles and burgeoning waists (mine, not hers)

Steve

Thursday morning.  Chemo tomorrow.  Round three.  So far, Gabrielle is weathering this week quite nicely.  The kids, along with Karissa, made us a wonderful meal of pan-fried petrale sole, mashed potatoes and broccoli along with cherry pie for dessert.  Gabrielle had an impressive amount, but she is still thin…almost 20 pounds down from when this all began.  I am making up for her weight loss, big time, but will soon put the brakes on that.  Still, I want to be a good example to her, so I shovel it in.  Nothing like leading by example, right?

Daniel and Gabrielle had a nice outing to Northgate as well…four hours.  She even took advantage of her birthday month and had lunch at Red Robin.  I am so jealous! 

Well, I’ll have to leave the rest of the details to the others.  I just have time for one quick story before hopping on my bike on this blustery morning and heading off to the salt mines (that’s where Ward Cleaver always told June he was going)…

So, now, my little aside. 

On Sunday, I was booted out of the house by Gabrielle and Daniel and told to get some exercise as I needed it.  Perhaps they were sick of seeing me eating all the treats that were supposed to be for someone else.  In any event, I went down to the beach and went for a run during low tide.  It was quite pleasant as I had a chance to find more beach glass and saw all sorts of wonderful things:  waves, birds (cormorants, buffleheads, gulls and such), and even got a little exercise to boot, though it was kind of hard to run and eat ginger cookies and pick up beach glass all at the same time.  One of the delights about being at the beach is that you never know what you’ll see.  I looked the waves, the clouds as they scudded across the sky (the poet types love that word ‘scud’, so thought I’d throw it in just for good measure).  So as I scudded across the beach, the ginger cookies scudded down my gullet, the clouds scudded as well.  So much for scudding. 

As I ran, I was struck by a massive barnacle shell and picked it up.  At first I thought of discarding it, as I didn’t know what to do with it once I got it back home.  But as I held it in my one free hand (see reference to beach glass and cookies above), I was drawn to it all the more and just couldn’t send it scudding across the water like a skipped stone.  So now it’s in my collection of seashells and beach glass.  Here’s a picture of it:

You will notice that it totally dwarfs the previous biggie that I snagged a couple of weeks back.  And, no, I didn’t find the quarter.  I just threw that on the table to give you a reference as to the size. 

So, today’s aside is about barnacles.  I think they have gotten a bad rap over the years.  What do you do if you have a boat?  You scrape the barnacles off.  Barnacles slow you down, are crusty and rough.  I know of one dermatologist who told a patient that all her spots and moles were just “barnacles on the ship of life”.  Patient didn’t like getting told she had barnacles, and I don’t suppose I would either. 

But take a closer look at the big one above.  It has a massive exterior that shelters a very soft organism from the ravages of the wind, the tides, the various sea creatures that want to eat it for lunch.  When it is hungry, it opens up its hatch (gotta be a better term than hatch, but that’s the best I can do right now) and extends its feather-like arm into the current pulling in nutrients and even more calcium to add to the shell.  Piece by piece, the shell is made.  On any one day, you wouldn’t notice the half dozen or so calcium bits stuck on the rim, but over time they add up, and the soft little critter on the inside is nestled deeper inside, safer than before. 

I like shells.  They protect the vulnerable soft spots.  But unlike the barnacle, I can’t be all hard and crusty.  Softness lends itself to being open and receiving the gifts of kindness of others.  Sure, it is possible to get hurt, but I’ll take that chance.  Nevertheless, there is something nice about that barnacle. 

2/5/13 Thankful heart

Dear family and friends,

Gabrielle here.  Today I have a thankful heart for many blessings.  Here are some of the blessings of the last two days.

Yesterday, I received a surprise visit from my tennis friend who now lives in Arizona--Sophia.  She brought me a beautiful, cheery decorative pillow that says "smile."  It  makes me smile just to look at it!  I also received two great cards yesterday and four great cards today!  Going to the mailbox is a highlight of each day!

Two nights ago I didn't sleep well and so yesterday I was dragging.  But last night--I think I slept an entire eight hours!  Today I have felt better and have had a good day (something I wasn't sure was possible while undergoing treatment for cancer).  I awoke to no hair on my pillow, even though people say it will fall out any day now.  I have enjoyed looking at my hair today to memorize it!  Speaking of hair, Daniel went downtown today for a fancy haircut in preparation for his UW med school interview next Monday.  He looks fantastic and just like the most handsome young future doctor you could imagine.

A huge blessing of today aside from the cards, sleep, and hair, was a lunchtime visit from my dear friends Anna and Maribeth.  They brought yummy soup, two kinds, good bread and cheese, a caprese salad, and chocolate chip cookies that Maribeth's daughter, Anna, baked.  I ate a lot!  It was so good!  Despite having lost 2.5 pounds in the last three days, I am really trying to pack the food in on the weekdays as I get past the chemo weekends.  I plan to eat another of those cookies tonight after dinner.  But better than the good food was the conversation and prayer with my lovely friends.

Right as they were leaving, the vacuum cleaner repair man showed up.  As only God would have it, he was a very strong Christian!  He saw my "chemo zone" sign on the porch and immediately asked how I was feeling, and the talk turned to God.  We had much discussion about God's love and faithfulness to help us through the trials of life.  Who knew that good conversation would come from a broken vacuum button?! 

Another thing I'm thankful for was my walk today.  Daniel and I walked about 10-12 blocks (my farthest yet) and it included going up one very steep hill by Cristwood/King's.  It felt so good to be outside and to have better energy and less pain in my incision so I could walk farther.  On our walk, we ran into Karen--a friend of mine from King's and my Sunday school class at church.  Karen is a teacher at King's and when Daniel was in first grade, she stayed after school with him to help him learn to hold the pencil correctly so he could write more legibly.  Anyway, Karen is a cancer survivor!  We had a good talk about chemo and wigs and Jesus and hope.  God's perfect timing for that walk!

Let me close my message of thankfulness with a beautiful prayer my friend Helen sent me today.  Helen is another cancer survivor!!  Here is the prayer, and for any of you who need healing of body or spirit, I hope it will speak to you as it did to me:

A Prayer for Healing

Lord, You invite all who are burdened to come to You.  Allow your healing hand to heal me.  Touch my soul with Your compassion for others.  Touch my heart with Your courage and infinite love for all.  Touch my mind with Your wisdom, that my mouth may always proclaim Your praise.  Teach me to reach out to You in my need, and help me to lead others to You by my example.  Most loving Heart of Jesus, bring me health in body and spirit that I may serve You with all my strength.  Touch gently this life which You have created, now and forever.  Amen.

Love,
Gabrielle

p.s.  I forgot to mention the fantastic marijuana-themed gift basket that Anna and Maribeth brought me today.  It contained a hippie wallet with a picture of a VW bus and the words "weed money" on it, hemp rose soap, a mix tape made by Maribeth's daughter of all the stoner pot songs one could think of and lots of snack foods for when I get the munchies.  It was FANTASTIC!!!

2/5/13 Smooth sailing

Steve

Smooth sailing…at least for now.  Thankfully, not much is going on at present, so no big news to report.  Hair still where it belongs.  Appetite moderately good (still no interest in sweets), but still battling the nausea.  Pain is under pretty good control…the main area of concern is the abdominal port.  Walking a little more each day (singing “Feeling stronger every day” while she does it).  She and Daniel even went on an outing to U. Village where she bought four pairs of new reading glasses as the old ones weren’t quite strong enough.  No idea why that has changed. 

To borrow from that being on a sea voyage analogy, we seem to be enjoying a few days of calm sailing, though we have already weathered some storms and know that rougher seas lie ahead.  But we’ll take it.  Yesterday, Dr. Call, my practice partner told me of someone he knew who lost all his hair at about the two week mark.  Actually, he only lost the dark hair.  The gray hair hung on in there for a while.  If that’s Gabrielle’s case, any day now, she will be losing quite a bunch in a hurry, with maybe a solitary lone gray hair up top.  But we’re all set…the wig is due in on Friday and I’ve got the clippers all set so I can get a matching “do”. 

We keep getting encouraging cards in the mail and a few nice presents along the way.  There was another carton of fresh yogurt on the porch when I got up this morning.  Thanks, Mike!  Last night, we pulled out some chicken divan from the freezer that my patients, the Locks (getting good at HIPPA here…not their real last name) had sent over.  Quite tasty!  For dessert: ginger snickerdoodles, which were supposed to be all for Gabrielle, but I had one too.  Worked wonders on my appetite…am up two pounds.  So, all in all, we’re “steady as she goes”.  Will probably not post for a couple of days, till the next chemo session…unless something big happens.  That’s fine by me.

2/3/13 Sunday

Hi Friends!

Just a quick update to say that Gabrielle has had a nice mellow Sunday.  She's feeling so much better after the single dose of chemo than she did after the double dose last weekend.  Her nausea is under control and she's not too fatigued.  She and Daniel even got out for a walk at Richmond Beach today!  Her appetite is better this weekend too--we just ordered delicious Pagliacci pizza for dinner at Gabrielle's request.  We're happy to see that her weight is back up a couple pounds after she had dropped so low last week.

Gabrielle had a wonderful visit with her friend Sue this morning complete with scones and tea.  Our friend Dean joined us for pizza tonight and brought a flock of cheerful origami cranes that his son Ian made for Gabrielle.  We continue to feel so supported by our friends!

2/2/13 Happy Ground Hog Day

Steve

Happy Ground Hog Day!  As of this writing, I have no idea what’s been going on back in Punxsutawney, PA., home of that famous woodchuck who is so good at forecasting the weather.  But I can tell what we’ve been up to, in Shoreline, WA.  It’s pretty quiet around here.  Daniel has left for the gym.  Renee has left for a babysitting gig and Gabrielle is peacefully resting on the couch after her first big outing since all this began.  We actually went to a movie today: Argo.  It was great.  Spoiler alert….nah, just kidding…I won’t tell you about the movie, but we did indeed enjoy it.  At the start, I led Gabrielle past the snack bar and waved my arm in a sweeping motion is if I were pharaoh waving to his people.  I told Gabrielle, that she was my princess and that as a special treat, one time only, I would buy her anything she wanted: Dots, a hot dog (or two), “nachos” with that oh-so-tasty fake cheese, popcorn.  Didn’t get a nibble on any of it.  She just wanted to head in to the movie.  Shortly after sitting down, she whispered in my ear, “what’s that awful smell?”  It was fresh movie house popcorn two rows back and it smelled oh so tempting (at least to me).  Not to her.  She almost made us move farther away.  Yep, I guess that ol’ chemo can wreak havoc on your taste buds and the old schnozzola as well.

As I said, things are quiet around here, but we’ve got a rather strange sight out the window that I just have to tell you about.  It’s dark, but an eerie red glow is coming from a 12 foot tall inflatable Santa Claus from the house across the street.  He’s all lit up as if the house is still in the running for best Christmas décor on the block.  Everybody else around has taken their Christmas lights down.  I managed that feat last weekend in the rain.  Good timing.  The puzzling thing about this Santa fellow is that, honest to goodness, he wasn’t there yesterday, nor all season for that matter, as far as I can tell.  Why’d he show up now?  That’s what I’d like to know. 

Well, I’ve got my own theory:  Santa’s coming!  And he just had to wait till all the hoopla of Christmas with all its gaudy commercialization died down till he could make his appearance and deliver the goods.  And, boy has he come through for us, once again.  Take this afternoon for instance.  When we got home from the movie (you sure you don’t want me to let you know how the movie ends?), there was a wonderful meal waiting for us from Gabrielle’s friend Karen.  Thank you so much!  As soon as I’m done here, we’re going to dive into that chicken soup, salad, homemade bread and brownies.  Can’t wait…am writing as fast as I can.

Two days ago, we got a package in the mail.  It was from Janet in California and was full of all sorts of goodies which Gabrielle mentioned in a previous post.  What she didn’t mention was that one of the items that Janet sent was a bag of dried up green stuff.  I got home just as Gabrielle had finished chopping it up and smoking some of it.  She looked rather disappointed that she was still nauseous.  To add insult to injury, she was turning several shades of green herself.  I took a look at the stuff and told her it wasn’t the much coveted medical marijuana but kale chips. Just as well.  Who needs it, when you’ve got healthy stuff like kale and chicken soup to nosh on?  Just kidding…this is a non-smoking, non-doped up house! 

I got an e-mail from a kindly patient today, N. (no HIPPA violations for me...who knows, it may not even be his or her real initial), who sent along an Amazon gift card.  I also had a great visit with my mom today who showered me with warmth, a meat pie from the British pastry shop and hot coffee (actually didn't shower in it, that was a figure of speech).  It was relaxing sitting by her fire and having a chance to just unwind.  Oh, and she assured me there is no burn ban, so if the feds come, she made me light the fire, honest.  Older brother John's on the other side of the state, so I can't blame him like I prefer to do.  So many people have been so nice to us. 

But, back to Gabrielle’s health, which is the real reason we’re keeping this blog going.  Today’s been pretty good.  Diarrhea is slowing way down and we got a call from Dr. Sato that she does not have C. diff, which is a huge answer to prayer.  Also, since she only had one medicine in the chemo session yesterday, she is not feeling as lousy as last Saturday about this time.  So, that’s two sessions down, 16 to go. 

Now, if I can just keep Gabrielle from smoking the rest of the kale, I think I will put some of Orville Redenbacher’s “Movie Time” popcorn into the microwave just to tempt her a little more, gets those gastric juices flowing…