Dear family and friends,
Sorry to post twice in one day! I just wanted to say, one of the things that has really been stressing me out, aside from cancer and my Mom's sudden passing this week, is the near homelessness of my sister, Xan, her daughter (my niece), Molly, and Molly's new baby, Jericho--one of the sweetest babies you could ever know.
Please take a peek at this link my niece Maggie put together (Maggie is Molly's older sister) and see if you can help, even in a small way.
THANK YOU SO MUCH. I love you all!
Gabrielle
www.youcaring.com/helpmargitte
Saturday, October 18, 2014
Friday, October 17, 2014
10/17/14 Joy and Sorrow
Dear Friends and Family,
This past week, I have been thinking a lot about joy and sorrow, which C.S. Lewis said are two sides of the same coin. If you love someone, you will experience the greatest joys life has to offer, but also the deepest sorrows. Both are part of "the deal."
First, let's talk about joy. I just spent a glorious two weeks in Altea, Spain, at the home of my beloved Aunt and Uncle, Julianne and Oliver. The first week, Renee, and my dear friend, Maribeth, accompanied me. The second week, Steve joined me. We had marvelous sunshine on all but one day. We walked, hiked, swam, talked, read, learned about the battle of the Christians and Moors at the Alhambra, visited numerous other small towns on the Costa Blanca, and bought way too much beautiful Spanish pottery. We also ate the world's best paella and I ate my weight in hot, freshly made churros dipped in warm, thick, chocolate sauce at Spain's famous chocolate shop, Valor. Lastly, my brilliant daughter and aunt both whipped me at Scrabble!
From intense joy, to the deepest sorrow, I returned home Sunday night, slept a little, then received a call early Monday morning that my Mom had been taken to the ER. For the next 24 hours, I was there with her at Northwest Hospital, and she died Tuesday morning at 7:30 AM. She had a septic infection, blood clots, falling blood pressure, and respiratory failure. Here is what I wrote about her on Facebook this week:
"My Mom died an amazingly peaceful death on Tuesday, October 14th, at age 75, surrounded by family. I miss her already, and after 24 sleepless hours in the air and another 24 in the hospital, I am depleted. Mom was one of the smartest, most generous women I knew. She was a pioneer in a formerly all male field, running successful advertising, marketing, public relations, and public affairs firms until age 70. She taught her three daughters they could grow up to be or do anything they dreamed of, and deserved equal pay for equal work. She gave up alcohol and cigarettes, then helped countless women she sponsored in AA to change their lives for the better. She loved her four siblings, three children, 10 grandchildren, two great-grandchildren, and many wonderful nieces and nephews. She also loved good food, mystery books, the Serenity Prayer, Fox news, all things Republican, Cannon Beach, family dinners, having her hair done and her toes painted, shopping, laughing, a good rom-com, and making babies giggle. She gave up her four-year art and national merit scholarships half way through Stanford to give birth to me, raising me courageously as a single parent for the early years of my life in an age when many women would have chosen to abort. I have always been thankful for that gift of life, love, and sacrifice from her, as well as her stellar career mentoring advice. Please raise a toast of your favorite non-alcoholic beverage to my dear Mom."
Steve sent me a comforting quote from theologian Charles Spurgeon, from his sermon on Psalm 31:15, "My times are in Thy hand." It goes like this: "The close of life is not decided by the sharp knife of the fates; but by the hand of love. We shall not die before our time, neither shall we be forgotten and left upon the stage too long." How comforting to know that indeed, our times are in His hands.
From deepest sorrow, springs forth a glimmer of joy. On Wednesday, the day after my Mom's passing, I went to the Oncologist's office for the infusion of my maintenance drug, Avastin. My blood work, including my ovarian cancer tumor marker CA-125, came back perfect. As was my physical exam. Thus, my doctor extended my nine-week chemo break for five more weeks! My next scan will be just before Thanksgiving. My Mom must be smiling down from Heaven at this good news. One additional burst of great joy occurred two nights ago, when my sister-in-law, who it was thought might be permanently paralyzed after a spinal surgery five weeks ago, WALKED into our home for dinner with just one crutch!
I will close with an experience Maribeth, Renee, and I had in Spain. We were walking home late one night after watching a parade as part of the Christians/Moors festival, when the most amazing lightening storm began. We raced to a lookout point near our home in Altea that gives a panoramic view over the Mediterranean from north to south. This lightening storm was like nothing we had ever seen before. It had both bolt lightening and sheet lightening and it lit up the mountains, the sea, the towns, as far as the eye could see. I wish you had been there. It took your breath away. As we watched, God brought a Christian radio song to mind, the words of which I will write for you here. I sang it to Maribeth and Renee as we marveled at the gift of this storm. The lyrics to "Light Up the Sky":
When I'm feeling all alone
With so far to go
The signs are no where on this road
Guiding me home
When the night is closing in
Is falling on my skin
Oh God will you come close?
Light light light up the sky
You light up the sky to show me You are with me
I I I can't deny
No I can't deny that You are right here with me
You've opened my eyes
So I can see you all around me
Light light light up the sky
You light up the sky to show me
That you are with me
When stars are hiding in the clouds
I don't feel them shining
When I can't see You beyond my doubts
The silver lining
When I've almost reached the end
Like a flood You're rushing in
Your love is rushing in
So I run, straight into Your arms
You're the bright and morning sun
To show Your love there's nothing You won't do
Light light light up the sky...chorus continued.
Through cancer and in my Mom's death, God lit up the sky to show me He is with me. Thanks be to God that we are not alone in this life.
Thank you for your continued prayers for my good health and our family in this time of joy and sorrow.
Love,
Gabrielle
This past week, I have been thinking a lot about joy and sorrow, which C.S. Lewis said are two sides of the same coin. If you love someone, you will experience the greatest joys life has to offer, but also the deepest sorrows. Both are part of "the deal."
First, let's talk about joy. I just spent a glorious two weeks in Altea, Spain, at the home of my beloved Aunt and Uncle, Julianne and Oliver. The first week, Renee, and my dear friend, Maribeth, accompanied me. The second week, Steve joined me. We had marvelous sunshine on all but one day. We walked, hiked, swam, talked, read, learned about the battle of the Christians and Moors at the Alhambra, visited numerous other small towns on the Costa Blanca, and bought way too much beautiful Spanish pottery. We also ate the world's best paella and I ate my weight in hot, freshly made churros dipped in warm, thick, chocolate sauce at Spain's famous chocolate shop, Valor. Lastly, my brilliant daughter and aunt both whipped me at Scrabble!
From intense joy, to the deepest sorrow, I returned home Sunday night, slept a little, then received a call early Monday morning that my Mom had been taken to the ER. For the next 24 hours, I was there with her at Northwest Hospital, and she died Tuesday morning at 7:30 AM. She had a septic infection, blood clots, falling blood pressure, and respiratory failure. Here is what I wrote about her on Facebook this week:
"My Mom died an amazingly peaceful death on Tuesday, October 14th, at age 75, surrounded by family. I miss her already, and after 24 sleepless hours in the air and another 24 in the hospital, I am depleted. Mom was one of the smartest, most generous women I knew. She was a pioneer in a formerly all male field, running successful advertising, marketing, public relations, and public affairs firms until age 70. She taught her three daughters they could grow up to be or do anything they dreamed of, and deserved equal pay for equal work. She gave up alcohol and cigarettes, then helped countless women she sponsored in AA to change their lives for the better. She loved her four siblings, three children, 10 grandchildren, two great-grandchildren, and many wonderful nieces and nephews. She also loved good food, mystery books, the Serenity Prayer, Fox news, all things Republican, Cannon Beach, family dinners, having her hair done and her toes painted, shopping, laughing, a good rom-com, and making babies giggle. She gave up her four-year art and national merit scholarships half way through Stanford to give birth to me, raising me courageously as a single parent for the early years of my life in an age when many women would have chosen to abort. I have always been thankful for that gift of life, love, and sacrifice from her, as well as her stellar career mentoring advice. Please raise a toast of your favorite non-alcoholic beverage to my dear Mom."
Steve sent me a comforting quote from theologian Charles Spurgeon, from his sermon on Psalm 31:15, "My times are in Thy hand." It goes like this: "The close of life is not decided by the sharp knife of the fates; but by the hand of love. We shall not die before our time, neither shall we be forgotten and left upon the stage too long." How comforting to know that indeed, our times are in His hands.
From deepest sorrow, springs forth a glimmer of joy. On Wednesday, the day after my Mom's passing, I went to the Oncologist's office for the infusion of my maintenance drug, Avastin. My blood work, including my ovarian cancer tumor marker CA-125, came back perfect. As was my physical exam. Thus, my doctor extended my nine-week chemo break for five more weeks! My next scan will be just before Thanksgiving. My Mom must be smiling down from Heaven at this good news. One additional burst of great joy occurred two nights ago, when my sister-in-law, who it was thought might be permanently paralyzed after a spinal surgery five weeks ago, WALKED into our home for dinner with just one crutch!
I will close with an experience Maribeth, Renee, and I had in Spain. We were walking home late one night after watching a parade as part of the Christians/Moors festival, when the most amazing lightening storm began. We raced to a lookout point near our home in Altea that gives a panoramic view over the Mediterranean from north to south. This lightening storm was like nothing we had ever seen before. It had both bolt lightening and sheet lightening and it lit up the mountains, the sea, the towns, as far as the eye could see. I wish you had been there. It took your breath away. As we watched, God brought a Christian radio song to mind, the words of which I will write for you here. I sang it to Maribeth and Renee as we marveled at the gift of this storm. The lyrics to "Light Up the Sky":
When I'm feeling all alone
With so far to go
The signs are no where on this road
Guiding me home
When the night is closing in
Is falling on my skin
Oh God will you come close?
Light light light up the sky
You light up the sky to show me You are with me
I I I can't deny
No I can't deny that You are right here with me
You've opened my eyes
So I can see you all around me
Light light light up the sky
You light up the sky to show me
That you are with me
When stars are hiding in the clouds
I don't feel them shining
When I can't see You beyond my doubts
The silver lining
When I've almost reached the end
Like a flood You're rushing in
Your love is rushing in
So I run, straight into Your arms
You're the bright and morning sun
To show Your love there's nothing You won't do
Light light light up the sky...chorus continued.
Through cancer and in my Mom's death, God lit up the sky to show me He is with me. Thanks be to God that we are not alone in this life.
Thank you for your continued prayers for my good health and our family in this time of joy and sorrow.
Love,
Gabrielle
Saturday, August 30, 2014
8/30/14 Renée's spin on the ice bucket challenge
Hi, friends. Steve here. Renée has come up with her variation on that really fun ice bucket challenge that has been making the rounds. She has made a video for your viewing enjoyment and here it is! Enjoy!
Renée and the egg
If you have any interest in taking the challenge, or donating to the cause, that would be great. The link for the Ovarian Cancer Research Fund is: www.ocrf.org
Thanks!
Tuesday, August 26, 2014
8/26/14 Hallelujah, praise the Lord!
Dear friends and family,
Gabrielle here. I am overwhelmed with joy, gratitude, and relief that my scan today was good! The only thing in the entire scan that was still larger than normal was one lymph node. It's not "way" bigger than a normal lymph node, but they do think it had cancer in it before. It has shrunk by more than half, but the last round of chemo did not shrink it more. But neither did it grow. It is "stable," which in the cancer world is good news.
The oncologist said I get a nine-week break from chemo, effective immediately because of this good scan! I will receive (and had the first one today) an infusion of Avastin every three weeks as a maintenance drug. It is the drug that prevents the formation of tiny blood vessels that feed cancer cells. In most cases it has few side effects, though two it does have are bloody noses and possible increased blood pressure. I have to just live with the bloody noses, but they will keep an eye on the blood pressure. If you see me roaming Seattle in stained t-shirts, it's from the bloody noses that I don't always catch in time! Gross! I hope you are not eating as you read this! ;-)
Another bit of information you might be interested in is that my genetic screening came back and they found one--and only one--gene mutation in me. I am a "carrier" of this gene mutation. It may or may not have made me more susceptible to cancer. Thus, Steve, Renee, Daniel, and I will be getting genetic counseling at the U of W to learn more and see whether or not Steve is a carrier (pray he is not) and how it may or may not affect the kids in the years ahead. Please pray it won't!
Lastly, my CA-125 was back down to 12.3--the level it was at last time I was declared in remission. So hooray for that too.
Would you please continue to pray for my complete healing, which would be a major miracle? Let's let God show my oncology team that a "three-year or less" life expectancy is only a statistic...and neither you nor I are statistics! :-)
Off I run into the kitchen now to prepare a celebratory dinner of my favorite protein in the world--King Salmon. Our friends and neighbors, Laura and Jerry, will join us and fierce rounds of canasta will follow our feast. "Give thanks to the Lord for He is good; His love endures forever." Psa. 107:1
Love and hugs to ALL!!!
Gabrielle
P.S. Please continue your prayers for my friend, Jeanie, that her upcoming surgery on Sept. 3 will be able to take place as hoped for. Thank you!
Gabrielle here. I am overwhelmed with joy, gratitude, and relief that my scan today was good! The only thing in the entire scan that was still larger than normal was one lymph node. It's not "way" bigger than a normal lymph node, but they do think it had cancer in it before. It has shrunk by more than half, but the last round of chemo did not shrink it more. But neither did it grow. It is "stable," which in the cancer world is good news.
The oncologist said I get a nine-week break from chemo, effective immediately because of this good scan! I will receive (and had the first one today) an infusion of Avastin every three weeks as a maintenance drug. It is the drug that prevents the formation of tiny blood vessels that feed cancer cells. In most cases it has few side effects, though two it does have are bloody noses and possible increased blood pressure. I have to just live with the bloody noses, but they will keep an eye on the blood pressure. If you see me roaming Seattle in stained t-shirts, it's from the bloody noses that I don't always catch in time! Gross! I hope you are not eating as you read this! ;-)
Another bit of information you might be interested in is that my genetic screening came back and they found one--and only one--gene mutation in me. I am a "carrier" of this gene mutation. It may or may not have made me more susceptible to cancer. Thus, Steve, Renee, Daniel, and I will be getting genetic counseling at the U of W to learn more and see whether or not Steve is a carrier (pray he is not) and how it may or may not affect the kids in the years ahead. Please pray it won't!
Lastly, my CA-125 was back down to 12.3--the level it was at last time I was declared in remission. So hooray for that too.
Would you please continue to pray for my complete healing, which would be a major miracle? Let's let God show my oncology team that a "three-year or less" life expectancy is only a statistic...and neither you nor I are statistics! :-)
Off I run into the kitchen now to prepare a celebratory dinner of my favorite protein in the world--King Salmon. Our friends and neighbors, Laura and Jerry, will join us and fierce rounds of canasta will follow our feast. "Give thanks to the Lord for He is good; His love endures forever." Psa. 107:1
Love and hugs to ALL!!!
Gabrielle
P.S. Please continue your prayers for my friend, Jeanie, that her upcoming surgery on Sept. 3 will be able to take place as hoped for. Thank you!
Monday, August 25, 2014
8/25/14 Home again--scan tomorrow!
Dear family and friends,
Gabrielle here. I'm home after two glorious weeks of vacation! First, Daniel and I went on an Alaska cruise. Highlights included a rainy hike at the Mendenhall Glacier past many waterfalls and creeks, watching the glaciers calving in Glacier Bay National Park, soaring from treetop to treetop in a zip lining adventure in a forest overlooking the sea, and boating close to rafts of female otters, floating on their backs with their little babies on their stomachs! And, of course, eating nonstop! Oh--there was one other fun challenge. When we bought our cruise tickets we were given $100 of free drink credit on the ship. This is pretty hysterical since neither Daniel nor I care much about alcohol. We were actually quite stressed figuring out how to use it up! How many lattes, hot chocolates, and virgin foo foo drinks can you get through in a week anyway?! I ended up spending much of my share on bottled water to bring with me on shore excursions and to drink throughout the day, which tasted much better than the ship tap water.
When we landed at the dock back in Seattle, Steve and Renee met us and had me dump all my dresses, make-up, and nice shoes on our boat next door at Elliott Bay Marina. Then we hopped on I-5 south and headed straight for our week at Cannon Beach! We were blessed with an amazing week there--sunshine every day. With one exception. We went on a 5.5 mile hike from Seaside to Ecola State Park on a beautiful forest trail that runs parallel to the ocean cliffs. On that particular day, it was socked in with fog and rained. And it must rain often in that forest because two-thirds of the hike was in ankle deep mud! Steve fell twice. My sneakers kept wanting to get stuck and come off in the mud. We were quite a muddy mess when we arrived at Ecola. But what a joy that I had the energy and blood counts to complete the hike! Other highlights of the week included Renee's girlfriend, Riley, joining us for four nights, long beach walks and bike rides, reading good books (no TV where we stay), great talks, huge ice cream cones pretty much daily, canasta wars, puzzles, mini golf, and REAL golf! Daniel and I played our first short nine "post golf lessons" at the Gearhart golf course. Let me just say, we are much better at our short game--pitching, chipping, and putting--than we are at our long game! More time at the driving range is definitely called for. Lastly, perhaps one of the greatest surprises was seeing, for the first time in over 40 years of going to Cannon Beach, the arrival of thousands of beautiful little blue and clear velella jelly fish on the beach! They are also called blue sails as they look like little sail boats and they float atop the ocean instead of swimming in the ocean. You must google them if you haven't seen them. They were a stunning reminder of God's creativity in designing our world!
It was so great to have time away enjoying nature with family to forget about cancer for awhile. Now it's back to reality. Tomorrow (Tuesday the 26th) is my scan. I drink two large bottles of contrast solution at 7:00 AM, go in at 8:15 for the scan, get a blood draw, then meet with my oncologist at 11:30 for the scan results. If the scan is clear, I will get an infusion of just one of my drugs--Avastin. It will be a maintenance drug every three weeks, as it's the drug that prevents the little blood vessels from forming that can feed cancer cells. If the scan is not clear, I will get my normal two-drug chemo--Carboplatin and Avastin.
Please pray with us for a clear scan! We hope and pray it will show no evidence of disease. But if not, we know God will give us the grace to continue on with chemo as needed.
Also, will you please pray for my friend, Jeanie, and her sweet family? She has had a rough battle with breast and pancreatic cancer and is having a very serious surgery for her pancreatic cancer on Sept. 3. Thank you so much!!
With love and gratitude for all of you walking this journey with us,
Gabrielle
"The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you." Psalm 9:9-10
Gabrielle here. I'm home after two glorious weeks of vacation! First, Daniel and I went on an Alaska cruise. Highlights included a rainy hike at the Mendenhall Glacier past many waterfalls and creeks, watching the glaciers calving in Glacier Bay National Park, soaring from treetop to treetop in a zip lining adventure in a forest overlooking the sea, and boating close to rafts of female otters, floating on their backs with their little babies on their stomachs! And, of course, eating nonstop! Oh--there was one other fun challenge. When we bought our cruise tickets we were given $100 of free drink credit on the ship. This is pretty hysterical since neither Daniel nor I care much about alcohol. We were actually quite stressed figuring out how to use it up! How many lattes, hot chocolates, and virgin foo foo drinks can you get through in a week anyway?! I ended up spending much of my share on bottled water to bring with me on shore excursions and to drink throughout the day, which tasted much better than the ship tap water.
When we landed at the dock back in Seattle, Steve and Renee met us and had me dump all my dresses, make-up, and nice shoes on our boat next door at Elliott Bay Marina. Then we hopped on I-5 south and headed straight for our week at Cannon Beach! We were blessed with an amazing week there--sunshine every day. With one exception. We went on a 5.5 mile hike from Seaside to Ecola State Park on a beautiful forest trail that runs parallel to the ocean cliffs. On that particular day, it was socked in with fog and rained. And it must rain often in that forest because two-thirds of the hike was in ankle deep mud! Steve fell twice. My sneakers kept wanting to get stuck and come off in the mud. We were quite a muddy mess when we arrived at Ecola. But what a joy that I had the energy and blood counts to complete the hike! Other highlights of the week included Renee's girlfriend, Riley, joining us for four nights, long beach walks and bike rides, reading good books (no TV where we stay), great talks, huge ice cream cones pretty much daily, canasta wars, puzzles, mini golf, and REAL golf! Daniel and I played our first short nine "post golf lessons" at the Gearhart golf course. Let me just say, we are much better at our short game--pitching, chipping, and putting--than we are at our long game! More time at the driving range is definitely called for. Lastly, perhaps one of the greatest surprises was seeing, for the first time in over 40 years of going to Cannon Beach, the arrival of thousands of beautiful little blue and clear velella jelly fish on the beach! They are also called blue sails as they look like little sail boats and they float atop the ocean instead of swimming in the ocean. You must google them if you haven't seen them. They were a stunning reminder of God's creativity in designing our world!
It was so great to have time away enjoying nature with family to forget about cancer for awhile. Now it's back to reality. Tomorrow (Tuesday the 26th) is my scan. I drink two large bottles of contrast solution at 7:00 AM, go in at 8:15 for the scan, get a blood draw, then meet with my oncologist at 11:30 for the scan results. If the scan is clear, I will get an infusion of just one of my drugs--Avastin. It will be a maintenance drug every three weeks, as it's the drug that prevents the little blood vessels from forming that can feed cancer cells. If the scan is not clear, I will get my normal two-drug chemo--Carboplatin and Avastin.
Please pray with us for a clear scan! We hope and pray it will show no evidence of disease. But if not, we know God will give us the grace to continue on with chemo as needed.
Also, will you please pray for my friend, Jeanie, and her sweet family? She has had a rough battle with breast and pancreatic cancer and is having a very serious surgery for her pancreatic cancer on Sept. 3. Thank you so much!!
With love and gratitude for all of you walking this journey with us,
Gabrielle
"The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you." Psalm 9:9-10
Saturday, August 2, 2014
8/2/14 Chemo news and such
Steve here.
As before, we were quite anxious about those platelets of Gabrielle’s which have been in short supply of late. Platelets had been in the low 30’s and they needed to be over 100 for chemo to be a go. Happily, and with a great prayer of thanksgiving, they were about 109. I know…I probably didn’t get the number exactly right, so Gabrielle can correct that. Dr. M. adjusted the regimen such that she is dropping off the Gemzar which she figures is the culprit. So that means that she only needed two drugs yesterday, making the day not quite so long. Unfortunately, one of the other drugs was increased and that gave her a little more nausea than expected. She was also loaded up with massive doses of Benadryl and promptly came home and had a nice long nap. She said that she was out like a light—so good in fact that there was a pool of drool on her pillow. Apparently that is a good indicator of being out cold, which is what she was after. Well done, Gabrielle! Of course she paid for it by staying up half the night watching Teen Jeopardy (and getting most of the questions right, I presume, though I cannot say for sure as I was already creating my own pool of drool on the pillow by 10:30).
The plan going forward is to stick with just two drugs for now and see how things are. Next week, more labs and a very pleasant “bye week” before a much anticipated cruise to the Alaskan wilds with Daniel. Toward the end of August, she gets another CT scan to see where things are. If it’s good, she will get a break from chemo, which would be wonderful and that’s, of course what we are praying hard for. The chemo, this time around, has been much tougher with more fatigue and disruptions in her platelets and red blood cells. Having a break would be a good thing, no doubt. Despite the fatigue, she continues to have boundless energy for things like golf (see prior post), hosting parties, seeing friends and cleaning our clocks at canasta.
So that’s a quick update. I just have to end by saying that yesterday, mid-morning, I came out of a room after seeing a patient and was greeted by an oh so cheery bag of nothing but green M&M’s and a wonderful card from a dear patient and her daughter. So thanks so much to…let’s see now, have to be HIPPA compliant…thanks to Burnett and Canon. It came at a very good moment and cheered me no end. I even exercised uncharacteristic restraint and brought the bag home to Gabrielle and turned it over to her…unopened!! Can you believe it? Thank you so much. Love those green M&M’s. Maybe they are indeed as magical as people say and have platelet reviving properties on top of everything else. Of course, Cousin Rob (HIPPA not necessary in his case) certainly weighs in with his own extra generous supply of resveratrol (aka chocolate) to help things along.
Two other quick notes of thanks. First is to my brother John who has been sending me wonderful letters that detail observations he makes in the little hamlet of West Richland. They usually involve things like cows grazing in the fields or something else in nature: sunshine, fish, etc. He often draws pictures which are a big treat as it is fun to see somebody who is about my skill level at drawing…we should play Pictionary soon! So, thanks, John and hoping you stay cool over there in the heat. And thanks to Laura next door who sent a card detailing her spin on “F” words for Gabrielle’s cancer struggle: Fighter, Fierce, Fantastic! Yep, that’s Gabrielle! And with that, I am going to tear open those green M&M’s and pop on down to Edmonds for a dip in the Sound. Cheers!
Friday, July 25, 2014
7/15/14 Of M&M’s and platelets
I just read an opinion piece in a recent issue of the Journal of the American Medical Association (JAMA). It was very well-written by an older doctor who is battling colon cancer. She proudly proclaimed several times how she has no faith in anything other than hard science and material facts. After all, she was raised without faith and that’s how she is living her life and apparently how she plans to end her years. The last paragraph started out, “I’m in a foxhole and I’m still an atheist”. Well, what’s this got to do with M&M’s, you might ask. Simply this: she plays a little game with herself from time to time. She grabs 20 M&M’s and makes sure the mix only has one red M&M. Throughout the day, she’ll randomly grab one, hoping and hoping that it isn’t the red one. Apparently, in this scientist’s world, she has been given a 1 in 20 chance of having the cancer come back (for those into percentages, let me grab my calculator and figure it out for you…will get back to you in a moment…5%).
So this scientist without faith in God or a divine plan is relying on a bag of M&M’s for comfort and solace during a terribly trying time in her life, and that makes me very sad. She clearly understands that there is no connection between the tasty candies (she prefers peanut, by the way) and her cancer outcome. Equally, if Gabrielle were to play that game, she’d have to toss a few more red M&M’s into the mix as her odds aren’t quite as rosy as only 5% recurrence rate.
But I’ve got a different spin on that same game: all the M&M’s are green, every last one of them. That’s because we can all rest easy knowing that there is a God, whether you are in a foxhole or not, or if your parents raised you without faith, or if you are battling cancer. Gabrielle is right where God wants her to be, and for that she gets a big green light (or M&M to continue in the candy vein). God is real and He is there, no matter the outcome. This isn’t a silly crutch that the materialists accuse Christians of having; this is reality. I am reminded of the words from the Bill Gaither song, “Because He lives, I can face tomorrow. Because He lives, all fear is gone.” And to that, I’ll gladly pop green M&M’s all day long, for I know full well that there is a Guiding Hand behind all that Gabrielle is going through, no matter where her path takes her.
So that’s my spin on the M&M game. As to bringing you an update on Gabrielle’s health, she had some labs yesterday as she was feeling fatigued and winded when going up the long stairs at Richmond Beach Park with Daniel. Turns out her blood count remains low at 27, but not enough to get a transfusion (historically, this has been when it was around 25). Her platelets are quite low at 33, a darn sight lower than the normal range of 150-400. So, whoever was successful in praying those platelets into the normal range last time, have at it again, if you wouldn’t mind (might help to take some green M&M’s into your prayer closet). Her doctor told her to avoid anything that might involve falling or bleeding—no horseback riding, skydiving, bicycling or even tennis this week. She even tried to tell me that since her platelets were low, she shouldn’t be chopping vegetables for dinner, even though I have never seen her cut herself in the kitchen, ever! That’s my department. Fine.
She is getting a lot of bone pain from the Neulasta shot, but that is starting to subside. Fortunately, this is an “off week”, so she doesn’t need chemo today. Instead, she is going to take advantage of her Friday off by looking at slabs of granite with Daniel (toying with new kitchen counters). I tried to tell her that such an activity is potentially quite dangerous as granite, if it falls on you will almost certainly involve bleeding and perhaps quite a bit of being squished as well. On the other hand, a kitchen mop is so soft and fluffy and nobody ever bled to death from a mop. She is not having any of it and will head out soon.
And that’s my update for today. One last M&M story and I’ll be done. When we were first married, Gabrielle gave me a throw pillow that was of a green M&M, so I have always been fond of the green color in particular. Back in the 1980’s, magical properties were ascribed to the green ones. So, go find yourself a bag of M&M’s, toss out all but the green ones, and pop a few on Gabrielle’s behalf. While you’re at it, pop one for that doctor who wrote about her own cancer in JAMA. There’s hope for her yet. Have a great weekend.
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